Zen

Almost everything I've heard about Zen in my life has interested me. The idea of non-duality just puzzles and fascinates me. I've been reading a lot about it lately, including classics like Shunryu Suzuki's Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (Wikipedia link) and Alan Watts's The Way of Zen (Wikipedia link). And I know, I know, you shouldn't bother reading about Zen. Suzuki outright says as much. At least the latter is somethiing of a history/religion book as it is a "spiritual guide". I'm not even interested in practicing Zen as a religion as much as just seeing the true nature of myself and reality already! This of course presupposes that there is some "true" nature that exists apart from the "everyday" nature. Non-duality.

In the first couple of chapters of his book, Watts lays out a history and explanation of Indian religion/spirtual practice (he does note that it wouldn't have been called "religion" in these ancient times, separate from "secularism") and some necessary background on Chinese as well (since Zen started in China as Chan). He relates that in the Indian spiritual tradtion, not much is written about "ultimate reality", and what is said is related as poetry, with some understanding that the truly real and ultimate and continuous can't be expressed with our fabricated and abstract and discrete words. He then points out that Christianity attempts to do just that. Maybe this is why I've always taken issues with Christianity, with both the "old guy on a cloud zapping heathens with lightning bolts" God and the "just all around us and in everything, you know man?" God. I've never found either particularly satisfying, and what I remember from what little catechism I received is that the whole point of Christianity is something along the lines of: No, God became Man, the Word became Flesh, it was a Real Thing that Really Happened.

On April 6 2025 I checked out the San Francisco Zen Center, which was founded by Suzuki. It is, in fact, walking distance from my apartment! Most of the time was spent doing zazen meditation. Honestly, I really wasn't trying to grasp at Zen I promise! It just wanted to try zazen, because Suzuki literally can't shut up about it in his book. And the Zen Center is so close and has such a great history. I really enjoyed my time there that morning, and I found the zazen meditation to be extremely challenging. I experienced it as "Try to not think, without trying too hard. Try to keep your posture good without paying attention to it" etc. Suzuki offers that when we have the right posture and mindset, we don't "not think" as much as our "mind flows through our body".

So far, the most challenging "koan" that I've set for myself is this. Which is more true, "I have a mind" or "I am a mind"?

Another reflection that I had, which I posted to Mastodon was:

I'm reading Alan Watts, The Way of Zen, and he's talking about how the words, ideas etc of conventional discourse are anthetical to understanding ultimate reality. I don't have an exact quote, but he mentions many times that we "fall in love" with our ideas and conceptions and measurements, that they're "hypnotizing".

Thinking of two things:

How people love to scroll social media, especially in the case of sites like Reddit, for the well-documented dopamine hit of new information.

How things like TED talks further idolize "ideas" themselves, even when they are devoid of utility.

Another:

I told my wife that my understanding of Zen is that it's basically just realizing you're one with the universe. She suggested that it's like The Secret, that when you're enlightened you can manifest things with your mind.

I replied that it's actually the opposite. The secret is an extreme form of "grasping". That if you try and try and believe hard enough, you can make something happen. Zen is like, everything is going to happen or not happen, that's it.

And finally a poem I wrote which I think is a Zen poem (every poem is a Zen poem; no poem is a Zen poem):

It is what it is

Such is life

I don't mind